TV for toddlers? How our family has used the tube

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recently rolled out a number of new recommendations and the one that caught my attention the most was about TV use for children under two. Though I tend to keep my parenting philosophies to myself, this is a subject I am rather passionate about, as I believe that many kids watch far too much TV and it can be detrimental to them. I do allow my son to watch some TV, though, and have since he was very young. I would even say it has helped him learn. How do you strike a good balance?

As one of the 90% of parents who doesn’t follow the AAP’s recommendations for television use to a tee, I do know how the television can be a problem and see wisdom in the guidelines. My son is now three, and this is what has worked for our family.

Keep it educational

Not all kids’ programming is created equal. My son is not allowed to watch fast-paced cartoons with characters shouting obnoxiously and engaging in completely unrealistic situations. I think most kids’ shows claim to be educational in some way, but that doesn’t mean that kids will get the message. These days (especially since ditching cable) we stick with PBS, which offers a variety of great educational shows for different ages. After more than 40 years, Sesame Street has children’s programming down to a science, and it’s still fun for grown-ups to watch, too. My son has also enjoyed Dinosaur Train and The Cat in the Hat, both of which have taught him proper scientific terms. We have also used DVDs to supplement learning–my friend Sophie recommended LeapFrog’s Letter Factory and it helped my little guy learn all his letters and sounds by the time he was two.

Have limits

Most young kids don’t have the attention span to sit in front of the TV for any length of time, and that’s a good thing!. When I notice my son’s attention elsewhere, I switch the TV off. Of course kids don’t always know how to self-regulate, so we have a time limit too. Instead of TV constantly on in the background we either keep things quiet or tune into a kid’s music station on Pandora. He’s able to really focus in on play and let his imagination soar.

None after noon

Like many first-time parents, we learned the hard way how easily young children can become overstimulated. My son was doing great with his sleep patterns, when he suddenly started having a tough time settling down to sleep at night. We were lucky if he was asleep by 10:30 p.m. after a couple hours of fussing, and then he would often wake up again around 3:30 a.m. What was the problem? It finally occurred to my husband and me that the small amount of TV we were allowing him to watch after dinner was completely overstimulating his little brain. Yes, even just a low-key show with cute and fuzzy little animals that like to sing and save the day. We axed TV any time after lunch, and our little guy settled back into a healthy sleep pattern. We replaced his TV “treat” with extra playtime and story books instead. For us, TV time is enjoyed with a glass of milk in the morning.

Watch with them and watch them

Now that my son is getting older and his imagination is rapidly developing, he is more prone to being scared or disturbed by what he sees on even the most seemingly innocuous kids’ shows. When I see his eyes pop open I ask if he’s scared or worried. Sometimes we can talk through it, other times we need to turn it off. Recent “scary” things have included the Big Bad Wolf, Mr. MacGregor being angry at Peter Rabbit raiding his garden, Oscar the Grouch, and people in fruit costumes. You just never know what goes through a child’s mind and what might worry them. Even if I’m familiar with the show, I like to know exactly what my son is watching so we can talk about it. We have steered clear of most kid’s movies (yes, even Disney) until he is old enough for the scary parts. Watching TV together with young kids doesn’t need to be an experience for parents to suffer through–I still love watching Sesame Street, and Mister Rogers on DVD is a favorite of both of us.

Is it all bad?

I know many families do without TV entirely. It’s a personal decision that works for them, and I won’t judge. However, I think everyone learns in a different way and I know personally that TV broadened my horizons, developed my interests and taught me a lot. I am a visual learner and was a little bit weird in that from the age of four I enjoyed watching shows intended for adults that taught oil painting, cooking and home construction. I went on to get a degree in architecture, and I still enjoy cooking and painting. While it’s not scientifically proven that children under the age of two can learn from television, all children learn at their own pace and some earlier than others. My son was ready to learn his alphabet, colors and numbers earlier than I expected and TV helped make it extra fun. That’s why I have allowed my son to watch a limited amount of television since before he was two, and I don’t regret it.

What do you think? Is TV allowed in your house? If so, which shows or DVDs do you love, and how do you feel they supplement your child’s learning?

Jennifer Roberts

is the founder, designer and author of Jen Spends Less. Formerly an architectural drafter and designer, Jen cut her spending and embraced a frugal lifestyle to be a stay at home mom.

6 thoughts on “TV for toddlers? How our family has used the tube”

  1. With Peanut, we allow him to watch a show after eating lunch bc its the only way he sits still for his lunch to absorb, and believe it or not before bedtime allowing him to watch his favorite movie (not the whole thing) is the only way to tire him into bed. He seems to gain more energy as he plays and moves around. When he was having weight issues it was very important that he settle for at least half an hour so his food absorbed and that’s how tv originally made an appearance for him. He’s a very quick learner and loves to solve puzzles with nick Jr characters and it really helps him get things down fast. Once we notice him squirming or if he doesn’t respond to us right away bc he’s fixed on the tv… it goes off. I generally play outside with him before keeping him inside around tv and electronics…. or we go lots of places such as the tumble play area so that limits time for him to ask to watch tv. I agree its all in how you use it.

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  2. At the moment, I don’t have much thought on this one way or the other. Kids are all so different, AAP (or anyone else’s )recommendations need to be seen as vague general guidelines.

    At 17 months, I don’t think I could make Isaiah watch TV if I wanted to. We found one show that he seemed to show an interest in and recorded a bunch of episodes. It didn’t matter because all he cared about was the theme music. Once that was over, the TV ceased to exist.

    The other night he watched the opening ceremonies of the World Series with me. He paid attention for the Star Spangled Banner and the clapping. He loves music and to clap when other people do even if he has no idea what the clapping is for. But, that was it. Off to other things.

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  3. Blame it on his engineer parents, but some of Andrew’s favorite shows are of a technical nature. Space shuttle and rocket launches; “Engineering Connections” with Richard Hammond; Mark Williams’ train history shows; “Extreme Trains”; the “How they Build That” series; Mighty Machines. He generally prefers these over most cartoons, although here & there he gets into a mood for cartoons. We do limit how much he can watch in a day. He gets to watch one show of his choosing in the afternoon before dinner. No TV or video games after dinner at all, or bed time is a nightmare.

    He does have a couple of video games he likes, Sky Captain (kids’ airplane flying game) and Mario Kart Wii. I will allow him to substitute play time for TV time. I actually encourage it most of the time because he never sits still while playing, even if the game doesn’t require movement, LOL. We’ve had days that he is totally sweaty from playing video games for the jumping around he does!

    We do use TV and games as rewards as well. Exceptional behavior and filling up his sticker chart can earn him some screen time. Through the rest of the day, though, we generally prefer to be outdoors if possible, or bowling, or at Rough & Tumble or even just going for a walk. The only days he gets to totally “vege” in front of the TV is travel days. When we visit my parents it’s a 6 hour drive, and I hook up the iPod to a mini-TV for him to watch, and he gets to peruse the video library at will for the trip. As he has gotten older I am able to rely on that less, as he enjoys other things in the car now, but the TV has saved my sanity on many a trip!

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  4. Thank you for weighing in, everybody!

    Jody brought up some good points – you don’t always need to stick with kid’s shows. Documentary or instructional shows can be great for all ages. We used to watch Barefoot Contessa together 🙂 Video games can also be great learning tools.

    I think we all agree that the important thing is to pay attention to each particular kid’s interests and learning style in order to determine what’s best.

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  5. Hi Jen,

    I’m with you on imposing strict limits on screen time. For some reason, TV is stimulating (even though it seems passive) and it can backfire when we try to use it to calm kids down.

    Keeping it educational is great too. We actually don’t have cable (or a hooked up TV) right now, but my kids occasionally watch movies in Italian (which I see as educational for the language fluency).

    Great post!

    Amy

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