Priorities

A couple of weeks ago I was very excited to receive an invitation to my first “Mommy Blogger” conference.  It wasn’t going to be a huge event, but it sounded like a great opportunity to meet other moms in my area who do the same thing I do–I don’t know of any!  However, it would mean half a day away from home, with an almost two hour drive each way.  The only person other than my husband who I trust with my 1 1/2 year old son (his Grandma) would not be available to watch him.  I knew it was a longshot, but I wrote to the organizing PR firm to ask if it was possible to bring my toddler along with me.  He is very well behaved in public, and I figured that if worse came to worse I could at least meet some other moms even if I had to sit out many of the activities.  But alas, I received a reply saying that my son could not be accommodated at the event, and I had to decline the invitation.

I was disappointed, but not angry.  It was a privilege to be invited, and I wouldn’t expect anyone to make special arrangements just for me.  Still, it weighed on my mind for a while and got me thinking about what it means to be a so-called Mommy Blogger.  Do I really want to become so wrapped up in the business of mommy blogging that I have to increasingly cast aside the role that has earned me these opportunities in the first place?  Well, no.

Almost two years ago I left my career behind and never looked back.  I sacrificed a very nice salary, accolades for high-profile work, high heels, and great friends who were my own age.  I did it because, even though I knew it would be difficult, I had an opportunity to be my child’s mommy 24/7 and I was going to take it.  And you know what?  He was worth that sacrifice and more!

I created my website a few months later hoping to make a little bit of money to help my family along, to give myself a creative outlet for some of my unused talents, and to share what I was learning along the way, just in case other mommies wanted to know how to live the same lifestyle.  I had never visited a “mommy blog” and had no idea that bloggers like me went to conferences or received freebies from companies.  I was fascinated when I learned just how influential the Mommy Blogger set really is!

But I also realized what my priorities are.  I am a mommy with a blog, not a blogger with a kid.  I cheapen that original sacrifice I made for my son if my website becomes another career that makes me unavailable to him.  Do I want to have a wildly successful website and to work with great companies?  Of course!  But I realize that success may not come at this time in my life.  You see, I won’t tweet or blog my way through the day while my little boy plays by himself.  I won’t nurture an online “family” numbering in the thousands at the expense of my actual family.  And I won’t go to “mommy” events that require me to hire a substitute mommy in order to attend.

Maybe I’m not the type of mommy that big companies like to have, but I know I’m the type of mommy I want my son to have.

To my friends and readers who value what I have to say when time allows, thank you!

Jennifer Roberts

is the founder, designer and author of Jen Spends Less. Formerly an architectural drafter and designer, Jen cut her spending and embraced a frugal lifestyle to be a stay at home mom.

2 thoughts on “Priorities”

  1. You are not alone!

    I haven’t ever been to a blogging conference because my hubby & I don’t really have anyone that could help with the little one while I was away “working”… that’s why I quit work, my job was one where I would have to work long hours & travel.

    I still consider myself a very successful blogger, one that can relate to moms. I made the decision when I started my blog to make it work around my life, not work my life around it!

    Yea, so I miss out on all the swag or goodies you read about, but the time I spend with my family is far more valuable!!

    Reply

Leave a Comment